Recent rudeness and bullying in the not-so-friendly skies ought to make passengers wonder — where will it end?
You’d better watch out or I might “go airline.”
There. I just created a new urban slang term.
“Going airline,” in my mind, describes the rude, inconsiderate and downright bullying behavior that has been occurring in our skies lately, compliments of various airlines.
You know what I mean.
Dragging a legitimate ticket holder off the plane by his neck skin.
Selling a paid seat out from under a toddler and making the child’s mother carry the child on her lap — all the way to Hawaii.
Violently yanking a stroller out of a mother’s hands and whacking her with it.
Demanding a passenger sign over a kidney and firstborn child before allowing her to stand and stretch her legs.
OK, they didn’t demand the kidney or the child, but let’s just say the friendly skies are not so friendly these days.
It’s bad enough you practically have to auction off your grandparents to afford a plane ticket. Now the airlines charge you for everything but breathing cabin air.
Luggage that was once checked for free now costs you. They want your carry-on luggage to be the size of a container of Tic Tacs.
All this, and they still can’t be nice. The whole mess makes me wonder where it will end.
What’s next? Will stewardess make an announcement about a loss of cabin pressure and then only let the oxygen kits drop for the passengers they like?
Will they use cattle prods to speed up the boarding process?
Will the ticket agents start forcing impromptu passenger wrestling matches on the tarmac to determine who gets stuck in the middle seat?
One last note to the airlines: Try giving us the whole can of soda sometime. Or maybe we’ll be the ones going airline on you.